(no subject)

My dream last night was, uh, lecherous? I was a high school teacher and a tall butch girl, one of my students, had a crush on me. And I tried to tell her that I couldn't get involved with someone so young, but she was relentless. Yeah, I don't recall the details, but I'm pretty sure I gave in. Oops.

Game Night was a success. Tina came and brought baked goods and a pretty potted hyacinth. There was hot crab dip and almond chicken croquettes and sweet little sausage roll-ups. And mudslides and a tiramisu trifle and those awesome soft sugar cookies that are kinda cakey and topped with frosting and sprinkles. I was 150% full when I left, and richer by one darling girl-robot purse charm and a fistful of coupon circulars, both from my mom.

My ouchiness was faded enough to hit the gym, too. I did 60 minutes on the elliptical. Let me just say it: I HEART ENDORPHINS. Weeee. My girl stuff felt totally better after working out.

Tonight I'm going to an annual dinner at my mom's credit union. Involves two of my favorite things. Free Food and Door Prizes. It's true; I DO live like a rockstar.

Oh, oh, oh! Also! Someone who seems smart and fun and lives sort of nearby and describes herself as queer, waaaay pervy, and masculinely-identified sent me a message on OkCupid. And it wasn't just a "Hey. What's up?" kind of message. No, it was long and wordy and funny. And see, I'm tryin' to have some action lined up for when I'm allowed to have "sexual contact" again. Which is in 13 days, and YES I'M COUNTING.

(no subject)

I am trying, without much luck, to remember the name of the literary device that involves a narrator saying that they aren't going to tell you something, but ultimately results in them telling you in a roundabout way by spending so much time describing what they WON'T tell you. For instance:

"I won't waste your time by describing the sumptuous meal that was served, with its various roasts and puddings and gratins. I'm not going to bore you by describing the great variety of fruit pies that were placed on the table, bursting with berries and apples and peaches, or by relating the delicious scents that wafted through the hall, both savory and sweet."

Does anyone know what that is called?

Best thing you've heard all day?

I'm typing up address labels on my fancy Dymo machine. I just noticed that one student lives on a street called Oval Circle. I shit you not. It isn't Oval Street or Oval Road or Oval Court. OVAL CIRCLE.