(no subject)

I was nearly done with a fun entry and then the internet died and I was using AOL so I got screwed. ::sigh:: Here's a recap:

Last night I had Literary Theory and Criticism. I was really anxious about it, thinking I might feel overwhelmed/lost/dumb, but the professor is amazing. He explained everything we'd be discussing, I had lots to say, everything was peachy, yada yada yada.

Stonewall tonite, can't wait, gonna look spiffy, hopin' for some butch attention. It's unlikely, based on this formula:

Butches/bois/birls/etc on any given night at Stonewall

minus

The taken ones

minus

The elitist ones

minus

The ones who don't dig femmes

minus

The egalitarian, soft-butch, lezzzbian ones

minus

... no, that about covers 'em.

EQUALS

Zero.

::shrug:: It doesn't really matter, though. I've learned to have a fantastic time independent of explicitly expressed interest from hotties.

Oh yeah, epitomeofinsane, you should totally come. Easy to get here, not too long of a drive, we'd have a great time, etc. :)

Tonite is also my Dr. Segal class. I respect her more every year. I feel like a super responsible student this semester, so hopefully there will be no letting down of my favorite professor.

In conclusion: Y'all are registered to vote, right? Good.

(no subject)

There's a man in my room!! Eeek!

He's here to fix our door, which sticks quite a bit. I believe he's going to sand it down or some such thing. He surprised me as I was brushing my hair; I had the door open and suddenly he appeared in it. ::gasp:: Really it's nothing, but I like to fan myself and pretend I'm verah verah scanduhlized. ::silly southern belle accent, sips her mint julep and goes back to brushing her hair::

pictures of success

I forgot to mention in one of my last entries how I'm finally starting to feel like a "real" English major. I've spent two years being eaten alive by anxiety/depression that I don't know how much I really took away from them in an academic sense. Last night's class provided me with some much-needed validation. I'm so excited, feeling like a good student. It's almost completely a new feeling for me. I'm neat, I'm on time, I'm responsible... there's always the possibility that I'm getting ahead of myself and setting myself up to be disappointed in myself, but no one ever said optimism was illegal, so I might as well enjoy my current frame of mind.

There's a Rilo Kiley song that I can sort of relate to my thinking, at the worst moments, that anxiety ='ed the end of everything.

"Pictures of Success" - Rilo Kiley

build your own television receiver
staying home can't be that bad for me
cause i'm not scared, but i'd like some extra spare time
easily earn me big money

i'm a modern girl, but i fold in half so easily
when i put myself in the picture of success
i could learn world trade or try to map the ocean

when you're dead
in hospitals and freeways
when you're dead
in resting homes and clinics
when you're dead
it must be nice to finish
when you're dead

i've had it with you and mexico can fucking wait
and all of those french films about trains
cause i'm not scared, but i'd like some extra spare time
i'm not scared, but the bills keep changing colors

when you're dead
in hospitals and freeways
when you're dead
in dress shirts and neckties
when you're dead
in apartments and on beaches
when you're dead

they say california is a recipe for a black hole
and i say i've got my best shoes on

i'm ready to go
ready to go
ready to go
ready to go

these are times that can't be weathered and
we have never been back there since then

I kind of think I'd like to make a theraputic mix CD of songs dealing with moving from being paralyzed by anxiety to finding ways out of it.

Hmm.