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home from michigan
Aug. 18th, 2003 10:31 pmSo I just got in a few hours ago, the last 200 miles of Pennsyltucky went like sand through spread fingers. Where is my boyfriend, I find myself wondering. There were about 175 posts on my friends list, you posting mofos. And I had an email from an amazing ghost of a poster. Just how much trouble can a bunch of people get into in 8 days? Apparently lots.
I am so renewed and full of joy. I've found my joy, and whether or not it lasts... it's real. I know it, I know it. Michigan was amazing in the sort of soul sparkling way that I hadn't even anticipated. I met the greatest kids and had the greatest conversations, dressed in pink everyday and wandered around in costumery (is that a word?) that I never could off the land. I had so many revelations and got so many compliments and networked and was the belle of my own damn ball.
I bellydanced and sang and talked to Animal in hir PJ's and ate huge blueberries and salads galore and got so tan and watched a fisting demonstration (like, duh) and saw Megan and took so many pictures of so many fabulous things. And I've found a new love for crafting. I want to make soap and clothes for the rest of my life. I'm inspired times five billion! Not just manic either.
And I went to this workshop, it was called Sacred Sex but it was really about being yourself and being comfortable with your sexual energy and being able to negotiate and harness your sexual energy and throw it into everything you do. There was one part where we envisioned something that was supposed to be our contribution and achievment to the world, that would be felt for 7 generations... and all I could think of was having a baby with Drew and raising this child or these children. And usually in these new-agey workshops I can never quite dig on what they want me to do... but we sat in circle and one of the women played a flute and we all envisioned our ultimate goal/achievment/gift to the world... and I could see it. I saw this melting, molten image of me giving birth and holding my baby and being held by Drew, and the three of us in family portraits and just so clearly could I see this perfect thing. I began to cry so joyfully and then we walked around and talked about our dreams and I would say, "My dream is to have children, I want to be pregnant and I just want to be a mother so much." Of course I have a million dreams and directions, but I truly do look forward to motherhood.
I can't even write out the rest of what needs to be recounted excitedly... too tired and happy. In the near future, I promise.
Love love love to all the girls and boys and the rest...
xoxo!
I am so renewed and full of joy. I've found my joy, and whether or not it lasts... it's real. I know it, I know it. Michigan was amazing in the sort of soul sparkling way that I hadn't even anticipated. I met the greatest kids and had the greatest conversations, dressed in pink everyday and wandered around in costumery (is that a word?) that I never could off the land. I had so many revelations and got so many compliments and networked and was the belle of my own damn ball.
I bellydanced and sang and talked to Animal in hir PJ's and ate huge blueberries and salads galore and got so tan and watched a fisting demonstration (like, duh) and saw Megan and took so many pictures of so many fabulous things. And I've found a new love for crafting. I want to make soap and clothes for the rest of my life. I'm inspired times five billion! Not just manic either.
And I went to this workshop, it was called Sacred Sex but it was really about being yourself and being comfortable with your sexual energy and being able to negotiate and harness your sexual energy and throw it into everything you do. There was one part where we envisioned something that was supposed to be our contribution and achievment to the world, that would be felt for 7 generations... and all I could think of was having a baby with Drew and raising this child or these children. And usually in these new-agey workshops I can never quite dig on what they want me to do... but we sat in circle and one of the women played a flute and we all envisioned our ultimate goal/achievment/gift to the world... and I could see it. I saw this melting, molten image of me giving birth and holding my baby and being held by Drew, and the three of us in family portraits and just so clearly could I see this perfect thing. I began to cry so joyfully and then we walked around and talked about our dreams and I would say, "My dream is to have children, I want to be pregnant and I just want to be a mother so much." Of course I have a million dreams and directions, but I truly do look forward to motherhood.
I can't even write out the rest of what needs to be recounted excitedly... too tired and happy. In the near future, I promise.
Love love love to all the girls and boys and the rest...
xoxo!
